On BirminghamMommy.com this week, I use my “humor column” to be un-funny. Actually, I’m quite serious. It’s all about bullying and changing the way we as parents view “stepping in”.

It’s a hot, Friday afternoon and my mom and I have decided to take Conner and Chase to a playground across from a local private primary school near her home. We arrive to find the place completely cleared out, a huge score in my book so that my children can have full reign. I breathe the sigh of relief that says “yes! I won’t be yelling at 8-year-olds that cut off my 2.5-year-old in the Slide Line!”

Within 5 minutes, 2 small buses from a the private school across the street’s Day Camp pull up. Grumble.

Children flee to the picnic area and begin lunch time, and since the children were at least 7 and up, I was relieved they were having lunch 80 feet from the playground area.

Then, another bus pulls up, apparently full of already-fed children, and they flood the playground. Within minutes, 4-5 boys, all around 7-years-old begin picking on Conner and Chase. They would get in my children’s faces, call them names, stupidly point to their bums and make pretend farting noises.

Conner, at first, had a face that simply read “this is mean”. He was a little shocked, and a bit sad. Why would someone he doesn’t know surround him and his little brother and start making fun of them? (They had my boys circled and up against a wall)

Then, the boys left. I watched them, listened to them say things like “now let’s do this and call them that!”, and they’d come back to find Conner and Chase, surround them again, and begin their taunting.

Please keep reading after the jump.

Oh. Look. Amanda needs to post but has a million short things to say. Here goes:

—1—

Conner begins kicking around in his bed, at bedtime, naturally. He’s acting BONKERS and I get in his face and tell him that he will stop. 

Me: Why are you acting crazy?

Him: I’m beginning to like being crazy.

I died.

—2—

I need a business card holder for life/NEW YORK CITY, but I haven’t found anything I really love. I don’t want a metal one, because a) that’s expensive and b) “meh”. I also don’t want a cloth one because that serves NO PURPOSE. I mean… I could just wrap them in a sock and it’d give them the same protection.

But, I did find a few wool felt ones online… that were 20+ dollars and shipped from Germany. Yeah. 

Flash forward to me melting my way into my nearest Jo Ann’s fabric store, emerging with tons of felt, chenille needles, and etcs. Came home, googled “stitches” (I knew a few from girl scouts and home ec.) (oh, and from common sense), and in the end made this:

 Very, very raw (TWSS), but it’s a start! I like that the felt gives it some “substance” - it’s thicker than cloth and can actually protect your cards. Also, the stitch (a blanket stitch) gives the edges a nice treatment. I plan on folding down the part that’s pinned at the top and sewing a button that’ll serve no purpose other than to keep that edge down on the outside piece. 

I also learned that you need one long piece of thread because if not, you get stuck near a certain left corner and yeah… yuck.

Please also note what colors I used for my “crap start”. “Always give the first pancake to the dog”, my mom says. I’ll make “nicer” ones out of these colors too. Note: NICER. Not nice. ::gags::

—4—

Bella has a hurt knee. We think. Poor doggie :(

—5—

I have a NEW CYST! YAY! WOOHOOO! PARTY TIME! 

Wait. Damnit. This one is bigger than the last (3.6), intervention size is 4.5 for me, so let’s hope my meds make it go down. OR let’s pray it doesn’t burst at BlogHer. Although, I bet the FDNY is SURELY hot. Hmmm….

::starts crunches::

::stops crunches::

Gah. Crunches suck.

—6—

Curly hair!

 Because… why not?

—7— 

Redecorated Chase’s and Conner’s rooms (post to come). Getting ready for the yard sale and New York City. Trip to Birmingham to help/hang with B-Metro (come out with us to the Summit tomorrow night! Hit me up on Twitter if you needs details.) Chase and Conner celebrated the new rooms Barner Style (post to come). Rachel Zoe starts soon!!!! I got a cute new dress that cost $16 bucks. Friends visited. Messes were made. And blogs to come.

MUAH! Xoxo.

I cleaned out my house, or at least, I’ve begun to clean out my house in preparation for a yard sale.

I’ve never sold my yard, so this is a process.

I found this drawer. We all have this drawer. Most of us can not open said drawer.

From 2010-07-18

This is after I removed 5 old phone chargers for which the matching phone hasn’t been in my possession for nearly 5 years.

But as I started cleaning it out, I realized that no matter what I did, this drawer would still remain a cluster screw of cords and crap and I’d STILL be digging in angst through it looking for a requested charger or plug or whatever the hell else is in that mess.

So, I present to you, another OCD Moment by Amanda.

Step 1:

Have a messy drawer

Step 2:

Begin cleaning it out. Throw away crap you don’t need, or yard sale it? Seriously, no one is going to buy anything at my junk sale.

Step 3:

Grab a sharpie, plastic bags, blank note cards/small pieces of paper, twist ties, and the ability to write. 

Step 4: 

Place one charger/item in the plastic bag. Attempt to decipher the hieroglyphics on the charger to determine what it may charge. Accuracy isn’t important here people. Just take a good guess.

Take your orange Sharpie and write down what the item MAY be. Shove it in the bag, facing outward. So you can read it. Le duh.

From 2010-07-18

Step What Number Am I On?:

Repeat until all items are in bags. If you have items that don’t need bags, like cords and shit, just use garbage ties to wrangle.

From 2010-07-18

Step 6(?):

Arrange all your purdy items in your drawers (hehe).

From 2010-07-18

See the large gallon-sized bag on the right? That’s something new I started this Christmas. Once the toy is away but all the extra parts and junk (additional screws, charger, operational manual, degree in Nano Physics) need homes, I throw them all into one gallon sized plastic bag and label it. That way, I appear organized.

Also note: I got racist during my re-org. I put my (white) Mac-related products on the right. The Other Stuff is on the left. I don’t let my Mac products hang with inferior product.

I blogged for me today. Not here or anywhere you can see, but I’m glad I did it. Sometimes, it’s the best thing to do. Let everything out and try to step back from your own words, mull them over and evaluate what you need (my personalized therapy). 

I’ll blog here tomorrow, and for B-Metro twice next week. I’m having a mental health day :)

Take care of yourself - always.