10 Easy Snacks..

..(alternative extension to title: That Won't Require Cooking or Eating Cheez-Its On A Daily Basis [AND Please Stop Being That Mom Who Sends Goldfish To Preschool Every Time You Have The Snack Bucket, kthanks.])

1. Sun Chips OR Wheat Thins

(Yes I could have broken these down into 2 different numbers, but I have an even 10 here.. so sue me).

Don't lie ... you love these things. But for some reason beyond me (this is mostly applicable to the Wheat Thins), parents consider them "diet" food and forget that they are just baked wheat crackers that taste super yummy. Offer these as a just-as-salty, but waaaay healthier version to chips as a side item or a quick snack.
My boys love them.

2. Garden Cheddar Goldfish

Yes, I just complained about Goldfish crackers approximately 20 lines up. Mostly because Conner goes to a preschool where we split the "who brings snack to school" responsibility up, each person taking 1-2 days each month and bringing one snack for all the kids.

BUT IF MY KID COMES HOME ONE MORE DAY AND SAYS "WE HAD GOLDFISH...AGAIN" I AM GOING TO HAVE TO VAGINA PUNT YOU, OK?

Jesus people, kids get bored with that crap.

SO. For those times when you do feed them those golden little fishies, why not have them consume a veggie or two?

Garden Cheddar has 1/3 serving of veggies (peas, carrots, tomatos and sweet potatos) in each serving (lol @ the fact that a "serving" is 56 crackers.. but still).

3. Fruit Cups

Here's the kicker... ONLY buy those that say "packed with natural juices". Otherwise? You are basically serving your kids "fruit" swimming in a 4-6 ounce pool of thick, corn syrup. Ew.

4. Go-Gurts (but frozen)

This is SUCH a huge life saver. Many of you might recall our "little incident" with Dora and her berries on my son's berries.. *cough*. The issue there was a) Chase hated eating yogurt and thus got numerous infections and b) Putting yogurt on areas other than your tongue is nasty to watch.

I digress. I feel like my whole life was saved when I found these (thanks to the boys' Aunt Ann for that). Basically, I freeze them like you would a popsicle, and when they want one... I run it under water for maybe 4 seconds (any longer and they start to get mushy), cut the top, push the "pop" out like a push pop ("wow Amanda, I would have never been able to guess that...") and serve with a paper towel around the bottom.

Conner and Chase go through a box every 5 days or so. They have NO idea they are eating yogurt and as a result, Chase has been infection free since summer. Thank. God.

Noteworthy: Don't look at them. Just eat. :) (Yes, it looks *just* like your dog.) (double vomit)

5. Quaker Oats Rice Cakes in Caramel.Corn


No fat. No cholesterol. Made with real multi-grains. DO I NEED TO KEEP GOING. Oh, and they taste amazing.

6. Iced Oatmeal Cookies 

Ok, we all give our kids cookies (it says on the package that cookies extend your sanity.. true story). Why not throw them a "cookie" that has something healthy in it? Bonus points for those that sneak in raisins or nuts. (Or try dark chocolate).

Recipe courtesy of Moms Who Think for Oatmeal Cookies.

(picture ALSO courtesy of Moms Who Think)

7. Dried Cherries

Not a raisin lover? Me either. Yuck. Neither are Chase or Conner and I don't blame them. As an alternative, might I suggest dried cherries?

or use your dried cherries in... maybe...

8. Trail Mix

(see what I did there? clever.)

Trail mix:
Mini Pretzels
Dried Cherries
Mini Marshmellows
and a FEW Mini M&Ms
Kix or Chex

9. 100% Juice Pops

10. Nutella or Dark Chocolate 

Craving chocolate but you've already drained your supply want to opt for something a smidge more healthy? Try: A) Nutella on toast or saltines or B) Dark Chocolate.

I only recently found Nutella and Conner LOVES it.

..Um. Ew... -->

(A Hazelnut spread w/ cococa.. nuts are healthy, no?)

A One Trick sHOw

If efforts to expand the life of one of my favorite candles (Creamy Custard and Blushing Apple by Glade), I've decided to let no speck of wax to be thrown away.


When one candle burned out today, but still had over an inch of delicious almost-edible blushing apple left in the bottom (this is a layered scent), I got out a knife to stab the person that can't figure out how to make a wick long enough for the entire candle to dig the rest out.


How To Extend The Yumminess of Your Favorite Candle Scent:
Step 1: Have a yummy candle.


Step 2: Once it burns out, dig out the bottom (see below)

Step 3: (In your pre-purchased tart warmer) Place a 1-1.5 inch section of the wax and use as normal.

Yay for being cheap!

Connerisms, Pictures, Mom Tip and Pulmonology Appointment Tomorrow

A few 'Connerisms' before his appointment tomorrow:

While playing with his "people" Friday, here's the conversation I overheard:

Conner's 1st Person: Hi! How are you?

Conner's 2nd Person: I'm good. What is your name?

1st person: I'm Dard Vada

2nd person: Where did you come from?

Dard Vada: My momma.

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Conner at VBS/Summer School on Thursday was playing with two 6-year-old boys, Matthew and and Landon. Chase and Conner were in a playhouse, when Matthew approached the door and knocked. I was behind the house, about 5-feet, but close enough to hear this:

Conner: Who is it?

Matthew: It's Matthew

Conner: Come in!

(Matthew walks in and Conner shuts the door)

Conner: Hi, My name is Tonna, dis is my friend Chasey.

Matthew: Is he like your 'friend friend' or your brother?

(This takes a minute for Conner to process and then, he picks an answer)

Conner: My brova friend.

---------------

Before bed last night, as he's falling asleep:

Conner: Momma, can I pet your eyebrows?

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Oh, and a few pics of the boys:

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And finally, since this blog is lacking all things of interest to readers not blood-related to me (or my sista's by otha mista's) (I'm so lame).... I'll give you an Official Mom Job Mommy Tip:

For lunch, or all any meal(s) that requires THE condiment, I offer Conner the choice of a letter of the alphabet to be squirted into his ketchup using mustard. It gets him interested in lunch, gives him a "choice" (which 4-year-olds love.... sigh...) and, obviously, drives home that alphabet!

He has several favorites:

"C - is for my name" (correcting my thinking that "C is for COOKIE!")

"F, for the froggies"

and "X marks the spot, Arrggg!"

- all direct Conner quotes.

When I wear my VS Pink pajama pants, and it says "TEAM PINK!" on the butt (they were ON SALE PEOPLE), he sometimes picks a letter off my arse. Isn't that lovely?

Here's a pic (not of my arse, sorry) (maybe someday) (or TOTALLY not):

Keep us in your thoughts tomorrow and if Children's has reliable wifi (which, if I recall, it does), I'll keep you all informed via Twitter (which, if you don't follow @themomjob, you can read my tweets in the sidebar to your left).

I Apologize In Advance For Boring You - Cleaning Tips & Questions

I can't stay WELL. Ge'ez. Sore throat, glands swollen, feels like someone is choking me. What. Ever. Save the "sorry, hope you feel better's"... it's not good to entertain the antics of a hypochondriac.

It is hard, however, to be funny when your insides are trying to convince you to press the Internal I Quit Button.

So, what I can do is contribute to The Mom Job AND The I Have A House TOO! But No Kids Job with the following:

1. We have hard water. That is an understatement. Our water leaves clouds all over my glass shower within ONE DAY of cleaning. And my go-to cleaner, Scrubbing Bubbles, won't get the job done. So, with a little help from Mrs. Google, I tried the following:

Make a paste using powder laundry detergent and water. Apply paste in circular motion to glass surfaces in shower. (I like not having to break a sweat, and I didn't if that tells you how effortless this is). Let sit for a minute, then rinse with hot water. I towel dried afterwards so the water I used to clean doesn't re-dirty my shower.

Endless battle, but clean shower. And it smelled like fresh laundry!

2. I keep a bottle of 1/3 vinegar, 2/3 water for a few things: windows, glass surfaces and granite counter tops to name a few. But this power cleaner can do so much, including getting a streak-free clean on black appliances like ovens, dishwasher fronts, the fridge ("fri-ja-frator" in Conner Land), and microwaves. Works like a charm.

3. Kids or no kids, the absolute best rags to use are cloth baby diapers. I thought I could do the whole cloth diaper bit, but it just didn't work for me (and I applaud all of you moms that CAN do it, because the laundry about nearly killed me trying).

So, I started using them around the house 3.75 years ago and still have the same ones. They are ULTRA absorbent, for obvious reasons, and can clean up spills better than 15 paper towels.

I use a damp one to wipe down dusty surfaces (sorry Pledge, you make dust come back faster for some reason, anyone else experience this?). 

Sooo many uses, I recommend picking up a bag of them.

4. Hardwood floors get a bathtub full of hot water, a SMIDGEN of dish soap and a splash of Pine Sol (orange flavored, please). It's VERY diluted (thus, bathtub full). I use a mop (duh) but wring it out very thoroughly. Clean, shiny, yummy smelling and disinfected. 

5. Kitchen floors get the sink filled with hot water (HOT HOT), 1/4 cup bleach and a squirt of dish soap. Mop once, then rinse mop, empty sink, refill with hot water and run over the floor again. 

Now for my questions:

1. How in the WORLD do you clean your mirrors? Our bathroom is like, 98% mirrors and I DESPISE them. Once I hike my arse up on the counter top and do the Death Match Parade of Mirror Cleaning Shame, I still can't get them clean enough.

Done? NO! Missed about 15 spots! 

It's not the cleaner, I tried Windex (and don't use it anymore, except on the outside of our glass doors). I found that the aforementioned vinegar and water mixture works best. I SWEAR it's either the technique or the rags/paper towels (both seem to give me equal, yet unacceptable results). WHAT DO YOU DO? (and don't say don't clean them, I've tried that...)

2. No seriously, how do you clean mirrors 5 ft. high  and 10 ft. wide with no streaks??? I need to clean the one on my bedroom ceiling too. I KID! That's just nasty.

3. Do you have a "cleaning schedule"? Are you OCD about it? Mention it in front of other moms just to make them cringe? OR do you really follow it? If you are of the last variety, let me know what you do. I've tried a schedule, but can't get it down. I have my lazy days and my super-ultra-someone-give-me-a-Valium-STAT days in which The Schedule was thrown in the trash.

4. I hate laundry. Should I seek therapy or just throw away all our clothes? For serious though - I'm tired of liking a new clothing item only for it to look 7 years old after 2 washes. I use Tide Ultra HE for Front Loaders (can't use anything else really, makes me sneeze). Does great getting things clean, but fades my darks. I use really cold water. Promise. Do you add anything to your darks? 

This post is way too long and you stopped reading 3 minutes ago. Sorry about that. Why did I publish this?

Ooohh... you guys get to see Conner's Preschool Class Picture sometime in the next few days, once I blur out all the other Angels' Faces. It's a real treat (you've GOT to see Conner... I can't even believe I'm purchasing this picture. IT'S THAT BAD)

One Banana

Had I of taken 1 banana, and cut it in half, neither child would've eaten a single bite. Promise.

(Wanna know how to save a banana [or two....] from an icky brown future? Put it in a plastic bag, throw a few drops of lemon juice in there and shove that sucker in the fridge. Keeps them good for a day or two. Same tip works for apples, obviously, but most don't think to use it on the Nanas)