Not Me! Mother Fail OR A Month Early -Your Call.

Not Me! Monday, hosted by MckMama herself!

Ok, so you are all wondering (humor me..) what happened with Conner's Pulmonology appointment last week right? Well, you'll have to keep wondering.

BECAUSE - it's Not Me! who got dressed, loading 2 screaming banshee's in the car, drove 2 hours to Birmingham (went to have blood work done myself for the craziness that ensues) only to be told that I'm about a month early.

Yeah.

I win.

Apparently, I put it on the calendar on my phone (with alert reminder) for the original appointment before God Did His Thing and set Donya in motion to get the who thing moved up. Yeah... I never deleted the first appointment and it's reminder from my phone... which was for August 5th.... oops. (REAL follow-up in September! Remind me.)

I did not eat a pulled pork BBQ sandwich for breakfast this morning (from Jim N' Nicks) (swoon)

I most certainly did not! watch Army Wives last night.

On the same note, I didn't totally love it either (hehe)

Yesterday, it was NOT ME! that found herself watching 2 back-to-back episodes of Bridezillas. I just don't get how any one could A) agree to go on a show featuring how dramatic/spoiled/OCD/demented they are all the while trashing their family and embarrassing their husband-to-be and B) how any one could BE that b**chy!

Who hasn't gone grocery shopping in 9 days AND hasn't cooked a meal in over 7? Not me! (but I haven't been sick for 7 of those either... so.)

I'm not still upset over my computer being shipped to No Where Land Texas. (sniff!)

I'd say it's me that's a little upset about not taking Conner to get new clothes for preschool - but he is still in 2T/3T clothes and I can't justify buying more of those - so, it's not... me...sigh...

Pandora Radio app for the iPhone isn't total awesomesauce, and I didn't spend 3.5 hours listening to it last night before falling asleep. Nope! Not me!

My sweet little Chase doesn't click like a dolphin. I'm not proud of his new found party trick nor do I think it's really frickin' neat.

And lastly, it's not me that's a little stressed right now but finding comfort in the solace of my pantry. Yummers. Guess it's also not me that needs to go fill it up! (and not so bad since I have some weight to gain back!!!)

I am SO Not Cranky: Not Me! Monday

This week for Not Me! Monday: Amanda is NOT a total Grumpy McGrumpster.

It was not me who spent the weekend wondering "when the BANANAS am I going to get a WEEKEND!" - I did NOT get up at the same, crappy time and make two breakfasts for two kids, and then get their hair combed and teeth brushed and medicine administered - All while my husband DID NOT watch tv while lounging on the bed.

It was also SO NOT ME that practically steamed from my little brains when aforementioned wedded partner spent at least 6-10 cumulative hours playing some VERY INAPPROPRIATE game in the main living space ALL WEEKEND.

I did not take a nap after turning down a solicited offer for a "marital conversation" only to awake to the husband ORDERING OLIVE GARDEN - Praise Jesus - but that WASN'T ME!

It wasn't Amanda who killed a wasp on the ceiling directly above table full of freshly washed laundry using a long, soaking stream of (surely) very potent poisons - only to then scrape the dead wasp off the kitchen floor, gather the top layer of clothes and throw them in the wash. Oops! Not me!

It's also not me that has spent the last week getting myself and the children dressed off of that table as opposed to actually PUTTING AWAY THE LAUNDRY. Ha! NOT ME!

I am not using this Not Me! Monday to vent about my weekend - and it's sooooo not helping :)

.....

I was not an hour late in posting the winner of my giveaway on Friday due to an odd combination of working out too late, dealing with a 4-year-old that is now available on eBay and a 19-month-old who seems to have that rash, AGAIN!

I didn't enjoy it IN THE LEAST picking a winner that I found through Not Me! Monday!

.....

Who has 2 product reviews to write up, 1 endorsement and 1 set of interview questions from a bloggy network to finish all while attempting to maintain The Funny? Oh, well... NOT ME!

Who is not spending another part of her Not Me! Monday complaining? NOT I!!

....

It's not me that was awoken to earthy-shattering thunder at 5 AM after planning to take the boys swimming today... sigh

It wasn't me that took Conner to Burger King just to get a ridiculously overpriced and equally as anti-climatic Transformer toy on Sunday. It was not Conner who asked me after we received our order "will you peez check da bag, momma?" I didn't almost die of laughter.

I am so not going to go sulk in a freshly brewed cauldron of Monday Blues b/c the kids are SO NOT CRANKY and I'm SO NOT AS CRANKY.

Enjoy your Monday! (or don't ... ;-) )

Not Me! Monday - Not My First

I've been wanting to do a Not Me! Monday hosted by the fabulous MckMama for awhile now, but I just... well... haven't.

(It's where you DON'T post a blog about the things you DIDN'T do or DIDN'T let your children do... because we are obviously all PERFECT people... get it? Right.)

So... here goes!

This weekend...

I most certainly did NOT want to murder my husband for watching endless amounts of crappy movies on SciFi and FX. Man, were there TONS.

When we did fireworks, we DID NOT load up our children in the car, drive to the back of our neighborhood to shoot fireworks out of the driveways of houses that are under construction. We did, however, clean up our mess.

During the fireworks, I most certainly did NOT light things and throw them.... (don't worry... I threw them away from the non-murdered husband and darling children)

I did NOT consume another 10 Kit Kat bars this weekend... NOT ME!

It's Summer, but that doesn't mean I let my 4-year-old LIVE off strawberries and chocolate milk ...

After joining the Y on Thursday (eek!), I most certainly DID NOT laugh at my husband when he tried to get off the treadmill and fell on his arse (well, face... really) - twice. (Actually, I really didn't laugh the first time, but when he tried to get up and did it AGAIN, I definitely DID NOT laugh then!)

I also DID NOT tell my husband I wouldn't blog about this... oops! Good thing I'm not!

It wasn't me that gorged herself on cajun boiled red potatoes for 2.5 days straight...

Today.... It's not me letting my children watch HOURS of tv today because I'm just plain SORE from running 2 miles on the treadmill (without FALLING like someone I know, NOT that I mentioned that)...

And lastly... That girl that just ran her plants outside to get some rain for the day in nothing but a long-ish t-shirt was most certainly NOT ME! (*blush*)

(It also is SO NOT ME that is hosting a giveaway for an adorable, customizable outfit for your wee ones! So DON'T enter by clicking the button in the top of the left sidebar...)

(this was fun, thanks Tamara!)