Where To Keep All Things Important

One child ago, I learned the hard way that if you can't feel your cell phone, it's most likely in the toilet.

Since the days of ole, when Conner went through roughly 5 cell phones in 18 months, I've adopted several techniques for keeping cell phones dry and toilet-free.

However, none have really caught on. I started keeping it in ONE place, but that defeats the purpose of a cell phone's mobility. Not to mention the fact that I missed SOOO many phone calls.

Then, I realized I could keep it on my person. And so, I started putting it in my pocket... only I realized very quickly that 90% of my sweat pants don't have pockets and I'll be darned if I sacrifice one of The Perks of The Mom Job by wearing JEANS all day. Plus, I did have about 16 months sandwiched in their in which I was either With Child, or With Weight From Said Child. So jeans weren't options and sweat pants were practically required.

(plus, we've all experienced "Cell Phone Was in Back Pocket of Jeans, Now In Toilet", right? right.)

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For both boys, I nursed. With both nursings, I used a nipple shield, which should be handed out in maternity wards like condoms in a middle school or glow sticks at a rave. I could write an entire post on how nipple shields are The Saving Grace. 

Six weeks into nursing Conner, I realized one major problem with using a device like the nipple shield: where the crap am I going to keep this thing?

I adopted the mantra of "closest is best..." and started keeping it in my nursing bra or tank top. I mean, that's where I keep my boobies, so... it seemed only natural. Since then, I've recommended this to COUNTLESS people who start to shake when I begin digging into my cleavage to show them... oh how I laugh on the inside when people become momentarily uncomfortable (I'm not just going to yank out a tit here, SWEAR!)

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Then, sometime over the last 2 weeks I began merging the two ideas: need a place to keep iphone as my warranty is up and they've already replaced my phone THREE times... AND... I always keep my boobies with me... SO....

Michael and I were sitting at breakfast the other morning. He did a double take after glancing at me to finish a sentence. He barked out a laugh that would have contained milk and Frosted Flakes if better timed.

Yup. 

iPhone Boobie.

It's all the rage.

200th post was yesterday!