Church of Amanda Issues Its First Newsletter

It's Sunday again, and I'm not in church.

I've always been a firm believer of the mantra "Going to church makes you as much of a Christian as going to a garage makes you an automobile", but obviously church serves a purpose.

When I was little, my mom hauled my sister and I to church every single Sunday. My dad stayed home and did whatever it was he did when my mom was off toting us from one commitment to another...

It was a smaller church, but not too small. I can vividly picture the sanctuary and it's high wooden beam ceiling, the green carpet and the communion alter. I'd be able to pick out the play kitchen without quibble in a line-up of hundreds. I still remember the smell.

When I was a little older, around 10 probably, I remember it being my turn as an Acolyte and I was over the moon. I got to play a special part. I got to wear a special robe. I got to LIGHT A CANDLE!

A lot of my fonder memories as a young child stem from that church - the gym and dodge ball, my first Pre-K "performance" program (I was Summer (maybe Spring, mom?), we did the seasons - and my mom searched for DAYS for the perfect little outfit. It was a pink and white stripped dress).

I wandered around one day and discovered the church had a library! EEK! Nerd Alert: I scanned those shelves for what seemed to be an eternity.

My point here is, as I've said before, that church was home. People knew me and my family, I was comfortable, I was involved and it was a place to learn about the Lord.

Many of you pointed out in my Church of Amanda post that you feel similar to how I feel about finding and being comfortable in a church. If you aren't comfortable or if you are pressured then picking a church becomes much more difficult... and it feels impossible.

Should I attend some place every Sunday with my kids (and husband) in tow just because it's the right action? I don't believe so.

When Michael and I became engaged, we started going to church again and he left a church on 280 (in Birmingham) that he enjoyed but was more contemporary, and I'm an old-school gal. It wasn't a problem for him because the church we were switching to was the church he grew up in (Mountain Brook Baptist) and the Senior Pastor was such an amazing man.

So, we were baptized to join (my first actual baptismal as I had been Christened as a baby (Methodist). That was the first time I felt at "home" again in a church. The pastor was an amazing man, and still plays a major role in our lives as well as the boys (both boys have been "presented" to the church, and in a private ceremony, this BAPTIST minister CHRISTENED my boys... he's that amazing).

I never thought I could feel the same way I felt about my first church at another place - but this church sure fit the bill. No, it was the denomination of my choosing, but in the right church that doesn't matter. This place put very little (to no...) emphasis on the "baptist" part and more effort into being just a place to openly worship the Lord.

I found it so comforting.

And then, we moved here. As I mentioned in the Church of Amanda post, I have accepted the idea that we won't be going to a building with other people worshipping simultaneously, but rather attempting to raise the boys in a Christian atmosphere in our home.

It's just... so dang hard. I fear that the boys will not know of amazing Sunday School teachers and stories from the Bible (as they tell them). They won't practically pass out when they get a part in the church play or a job passing the offering plate. There's no hallways to explore or libraries to find. Yes, God is here in our home, but it's not the same... in some ways.

The Grandparents, both sets, keep bringing up that the "boys need to be in church". My question though is "why?". Because you want them to be involved? Well, Conner goes to school there and in a year, so will Chase. Because it's the "right thing to do" ? What if we aren't comfortable? THEN is it the right thing to do?

The best reason: Because you want to make sure they have a relationship with God? THAT I get - and agree completely.

In parenting, the fears are innumerable, but the fear of my children growing up without a Church Home definitely carries a lot of weight.

I'm praying that we find some balance.

I'm praying that we can raise the boys to the best of our abilities.

And to be completely honest? I'm praying we get to go back home sometime soon.

(And on a lighter note: Make sure and enter the Pitter Pat House giveaway hosted by The Mom Job... just click the image in the top of the left sidebar - maximum 4 entries per person and it ends this Friday!!)

Church of Amanda

When we relocated to Montgomery from Birmingham, Michael and I soon noticed a trend. I don't even know if trend is the right word because trends aren't always followed by every single person, but I don't have another word and I refuse to google it right now, so deal, ok?

Great.

The trend-that-everyone-was-doing- and-I-mean-everyone, you might ask?

Well, people would introduce themselves, ask our names, where we were from and then ask one. more. question.

"So... what church do you go to?"

At first it wasn't odd, it set off zero alarms and we just answered very frankly that we were literally JUST settling in to our new surroundings and we would soon start the Church Hunt.

Each person, every person, would take that opportunity to invite our family to The Greatest Church on Earth (or at least one within driving distance). "Invites" came from all denominations - Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Catholic, Episcopalian, Church of Christ, Presbyterian, etc. All with the same persuasive tone, eager invite and enthusiastic PR rant about their Church Home.

It took a few weeks before it went from "Oh, well I got another 4 invites today, honey...." to "Um, Amanda... does everyone ask you what church we've signed our livelihood over to yet when you are out grocery shopping?" (Michael was getting, at one point, no less than 10 DIFFERENT invites a day - he was meeting a LOT of new people opening up a new office here).

It became a joke around here, within the confides of our 4-sides brick. Not a JOKE joke, but something we found very Montgomery. Nothing said "Welcome to the Bible Belt" more than having to meet a new person and go through the "Name, Residency, Church Affiliation" interrogation routine. We know church is important, and that it has an EXTRA SPECIAL importance here, but in a large(r) city - like say, Birmingham - asking someone's church affiliation within 2.5 seconds of meeting them is just not normal (or the norm, if you will).

And soon we took the bait on several local church hooks, trying on a few different denominations and coming up a little short. We realized that we didn't really fit in here, and it would take time to "break in" to some of these very tightly knit groups of friends and that in this new, strange world, everything was Church-centric.

Here's the part where I break off and tell you that I have absolutely nothing against church - as a matter of fact, I miss having a Church Home. It's a wonderful place to meet like-minded and even different-minded people to share experiences with and worship the Lord. A place to become comfortable in and grow relationships with both your neighbor and your Savior. Church is a haven for raising children in the ways God has set forth for us.

Our problem, if you will, was that it's just so dang different here.

The children don't go to the same schools, the kids in the neighborhoods, ergo, don't play together unless they have something else in common - and in this case it is church.

That's apparently why almost 99% of Montgomerians felt it was so important for us to "pick one and pick one NOW".

When we DID pick, under a bit of pressure to do so, we kinda figured out the hard way we'd pick the wrong one for us (mucho emphasiso on the US-o part...o...). I don't really care to go into which church we picked or how it All Went Wrong. Honestly, it wasn't the church at all, but certain people in a certain group of people in that church. And What Went Wrong wasn't even church-related, but very non-church related and this is me stopping about this now because I don't want it to get all "Jon and Kate drama" on my blog about church and these people, because dude, that could go very very badly.

However, the drama surrounding that Church Break-up made us oh so hesitant about picking another one.

And when it came time to put Conner in preschool, I shopped around some more because I wanted him to go to a church preschool (just as I did). We "tried on" three more churches, and we finally picked what is known in Montgomery as Six Flags Over God, because people - it's huge. But, big has it's advantages.

I really like the place, I do, but it still doesn't feel like Home to me, and I don't think it can. It's, again, not the people and this time, not the drama.... but, it's nothing like what I grew up with and I think the only way to find that Special Something I am looking for in a church is to be comfortable. And there is ONE THING I am not in this New Place, and that is COMFORTABLE.

For me and my family, committing to a place that doesn't call to you isn't committing to the Lord in a way I find appropriate (Staci pointed that one out, as she is having the same problems in her "new place" and she's about to move to The Netherlands, so she's sure to have even MORE of a problem... nothing says uncomfortable like a church sermon in Dutch...).

And going home? Well, we all know that isn't an option right now.

And why, Amanda, have you ranted about all this for so long? Well, I'm glad I asked what you were thinking, because I'd like to present to you an idea:

The Church of Amanda

(GASP!) (Oh, calm down already) (it's not that bad, and we aren't worshipping me) (although...) (no seriously... moving on)

In the Church of Amanda (which is located in my house, because in my house, I am comfortable AND I like the people... most of the time, anyways), we believe in God as our Creator. We believe that Jesus is the Son of God, born of the Virgin Mary, died on the cross and was resurrected. He was sent here to pay the price for our sins.

In the C.O.A., we (ok, mostly me) like to mix a little Catholic in, and believe that Mary deserves some Special Title, because COME ON, she BIRTHED Jesus. So, she gets Saint rights or something similar and I didn't give them to her, but God did and the Catholic church and some other fine Godly peoples.

We, in COA, believe in lots of Saints, too... because they perform miracles through God on Earth and they deserve Special Credit. I'm just going to save my butt here and say that all the Saints in the Catholic doctrine are credible peoples, so they are good in the C.O.A. (Although, again, some of this is out of Michael's Baptist realm, so... he gets to pick the parts of aforementioned beliefs that he wants to believe, see how flexible we are here in the Church of Amanda?)

In the Church of Amanda, we worship how we want - whether that be through singing or dancing, music or no music, clothes or barely any clothes (because praying in the shower totally counts, and cleanliness is Godliness). There's also no real schedule, so pray when you need to, worship when you need to, confess when you need to... etc.

We also read from The Bible and try and teach the lessons within the Bible that are kid friendly through the Children's Bible with lots of pictures. As a family, we say the Lord's Prayer and several others when necessary, and since I am Catholic-lite, I also say Hail Mary's. But, again... this is all about comfort... so do as you wish in the Church of Amanda.

Oh, there's one issue that the Church of Amanda needs addressing - tithing. Since the Church of Amanda is temporary until we go BACK HOME, we tithe to the church that Conner attends school at a little, but mostly to OUR Church Home back in Birmingham.

The Church of Amanda is in no way a jokey-joke or making fun of churches at all, just a funny reminder that sometimes, when you just can't find your fit in a new place, maybe that place isn't for you. In life, you have to make the best of what you are given, so for now, I am doing just that.

I might even make cards. You know, for when people start introducing themselves. I just hope they don't show up expecting a riveting service......