Yellow Death Returns

I honest to God kept a tally this morning of how many times I sneezed and to be perfectly straightforward, the original plan was to do it all day.

Last week, I jinxed myself (ok, that’s not true because I knew this was coming) by mentioning that my allergies weren’t that bad yet. SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE SLAPPED ME.

This weekend, after spending an entire day outside at the Air Show at Maxwell AFB, I came home, yanked out my contacts and gave my eyes a good, long rubbing.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not good for your eyes, but I DID NOT CARE. It felt so relieving.

Afterwards, I looked a lot like this:

My eye makeup was everywhere. AGAIN - NOT CARING. I popped 3 benadryls (no time to wait on the silly allergy medication) and lied down in the bed for what I thought would be a “rest”.

It turned into a coma.

But only for an hour because soon Chase was awake.

The sneezing set in some time before I passed out. It’s funny that during the Spring, I sleep totally different and it’s all because of the weird allergy meds and FULL BODY PANIC that accompany pollen aka Yellow Death.

My sleep goes a little something like this:

I’ve been sneezing all day. My eyes are neon pink and my nose is raw. I’ve only popped 8 allergy pills and avoided the outside like a full-blown plague has erupted past my door frames. Bedtime comes and I make darn sure that my face is washed and my hands are clean. I change shirts to rid myself of any accumulated pollen. I take another allergy pill and climb into bed.

“ACHHOO!”

“ACHOO!!!”

*sniff* *sniff* *WHINE* *WHINE* *rubs eyes* *sniff* *cough*

*YAWN YA*SNEEZE*WN*

Me: “F**k”

Then I lay flat, facing the ceiling, close my eyes and open my mouth. I fuss a little more, mostly in the form of soft grunts and eventually, I pass the crap out.

There’s really no “partial awareness” period. It’s just iamMISERABLEiamMISERABLEiamMISERABLEnowiamasleeeeeeeeeeeeep

I wake a few hours later, unaware of when the tv went off, stumble to the bathroom and then rush back to bed, still in an allergy-medicine stupor. I sleep well. Eventually waking in the morning in a fog, which is very soon followed by “ACHOO!”.

So my count this morning, from 7:30 to 8:30 - 8 times. I sneezed 8 times. That’s not a big number, right? NEGATIVE. It IS a big number. 

I hadn’t even OPENED THE DOOR, and yet I managed to sneeze every 7.5 minutes. 

Chase says “bless you!” in a pleasantly adorable voice every time I sneeze, but this morning, he reached his limit. Around sneeze number 7, he looked at me sternly, and proclaimed in a scream “MOMMA! BLESS. YOU.”

Listen, kid. I’ve had *achoo!* enough too.