My Vagina Dialogue

Today I was at the Ob/Gyn for my yearly, when I meet the best nurse practitioner EVER - Tracey. She looks young (but “isn’t” - her son is 22), she dresses swanky/artsy and is a good listener. And we are talking about my meds and my Mirena and blahblahblah, when eventually we get to the meat of the appointment: lady parts time.

I am on a space-age, cutting edge Vagina Propelling and Head Declinator For Cavity Search and Procedure device, or “reclining chair” for others not in-the-know, with my head down and my vagina 5 feet off the ground - and disrobed.

She begins the usual conversation that any woman staring at another woman’s vagina for professional purposes only begins - life, children, etc. The first question is “So. What do you do?”

Me: I’m a freelance writer. I do a little design work, but I’m learning as I go with that. I also do PR consulting when I can.

Her: Oh! You totally look like an artsy kind of person.

Me: From your current angle I look like an “artsy” kind of person?

Her: laughter

And then I stopped listening to whatever she was saying about how her son is going to Savannah’s art collegeA Vagina Bike Taxi. Yuppp. as I drift into Dream Life Mode: Me and My Artistic Vagina.

This could make me MILLIONS of pennies.

I could start a whole multi-faceted business on this! Art pantings made with my vulva! Sculptures complete using only my crotch! Water color! Oil pastels! The possibilities are truly endless. Even fashion!

And, naturally, my vagina would need a blog. The Vagina Dialogue (the header practically makes itself). It could feature entries entirely typed using just my vag being stroked across the keyboard for a few rounds (depending on desired word count).

I’m sure there is SOMEONE out there that finds that a fetish. People do weird things in their spare time.

More so, I could just start a service where I’m willing to use your computer to write a post and then send it back for a hefty fee. Now THAT is something that’d sell.

Excuse, I’m off to Vagina-Storm. And make business cards.