The Chastity Robe

"At least we don't have to worry about them coming home pregnant" 

Yup. We've said that about having two boys and zero girls. Of course, the possibility of one of them coming home with a pregnant girlfriend is still there, but you've got to admit that's a little less Total Freak Out than the opposite.

With two boys, I've got to come up with some original ways to keep them without a Baby Mama for as long as possible.

So I came up with my Best. Idea. Ever.

Using the Snuggie as a chastity blanket. ... No.

Even in the commercial, it shows a girl wearing this backwards robe with the opening pinned closed.

Perfect.

Scenario: Conner and Chase want to bring over two friends of the female gender. I agree. The girls arrive. We all show ourselves to the Chastity Closet in which I place each child in a gender-specific color Snuggie. I secure the back of each robe and send them on their way.

This plan is magnificent.

"But Amanda, it's just a What The F**k blanket. They can take it off."

Have you seen these things? They will take one look at each other in cult-garb and never want to touch again.

Or at least for a day.

If I suspect the regular Snuggie isn't doing it's job, I even have a plan for on-upping it which involves iron-on images of me, their mom, in various embarrassing versions applied to the front of each Snuggie. And then I'll staple them in. 

To my sons' future girlfriends and wives - you're welcome.