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I Tell You How To Get Thinner and Then You Hate Me

I went to the gym this morning.

Yeah that doesn’t look or sound like some monumental thing, but it’s kind of a big deal. With this crap, I have no energy and to be frank? I’m incapable of recalling a time in my life that I HAD energy. I’ve always yearned for naps (and typically figured out ways to get them).

Most people get tired - part of life - but those people grab a coffee or coke. I? Can’t. On top of that, I don’t do most soft drinks anyways (any more, at least) (and by “most”, I mean I crave a Fanta (caffeine-free) or have a Sprite at some point, but not often).

So me working out in the mornings (THE! MORNING! I know) is a bit of a big deal for me. I’m going to go twice a week and see what this does for my energy level. No, I’m not talking 20 minutes on a treadmill. I’m talking a 45 minute Gravity class, 10 minutes on the cycle, 3 machines, crunches on the incline and then a weight machine … thingy.

And lots of water.

Which all of this brings me to a post I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, one that I was “extra inspired” to do yesterday while flipping through a Marie Clare. I found a fact on some page that said:

For every year past 25, we lose a little less than a pound of bone mass, and gain one pound of fat.


I’m 26 and I will not allow this to happen.

See. Skinny. Moving on.

But as you might have noticed in real life, or via my pictures on this blog (or elsewhere), I’m not overweight. I’m not even “average”. I dare say this - ear muffs, people - I’m skinny.

That’s right. I said it. SKINNY. LEAN. A SIZE 2.

Stop hating.

For one, it’s part of my genetics. But honestly? It’s way more than that. It’s my lifestyle, and what’s funny is that I didn’t adapt this lifestyle, I’ve just always lived it. It’s how I’m wired to work. So for those who’ve asked me at some point over the last 20+ years “how are you so small???”, here are my answers:

  1. Breakfast! I’ve always LOVED breakfast and a recent study by UAB showed that those who consumed fats with breakfast burned more overall than those who consumed nothing or had an insignificant breakfasts.
  2. Eat - I eat all the time. Ideally, every 3-4 hours. Nothing gigantic. Which brings me to…
  3. PORTIONS - OMG PEOPLE. We all know these are out of hand. I have several people in my life that are completely incapable of stopping once they start. The “clean your plate” parenting method SERIOUSLY SCREWED OVER SEVERAL GENERATIONS. Do not teach your children this. Also, don’t practice it. If you are full? STOP EATING. And remember that you are full before your brain tells you so, which means:
  5. Back to eating - Eat frequently, but when you do go out to resturaunts, split meals with friends and order a small app. Share! Recently, in NYC, myself and 2 friends went to Tao, an AMAZING asian place of awesome. We wanted everything on the menu! So what did we do? We got basically everything OFF THE SMALL PLATES MENU. This means 2 things: ONE - we weren’t placed a large plate of 4 portions of food in front of us as a single entree, and TWO - we got to try SEVERAL things! Something we wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise.
  6. It’s ok to eat sweets - Just don’t empty the brownie pan.
  7. Watch what you drink - This is HUGE. Those sodas? Do you have any idea what they are doing to you? Because aside from you being able to google just that, think about this - are they doing anything GOOD for you? Answer without google: Hell no. You don’t have to give in and just drink water, but you shouldn’t be slamming back a soft drink at EVERY MEAL AND THEN SOME. Have a water with lemon at lunch, have orange juice at breakfast, take some cran-apple with dinner. For heavens sake, become a green tea addict like yours truly. But for all things great, please stop downing 6 “diet” cokes a day.
  8. Salad or soup? Great one. It’s been proven that hot soup assists with burning more calories than a cold alternative. HOWEVER, watch what’s in the soup and take a small portion. Or get both, and skip the country fried chicken ;)
  9. Listen to your body - Are you suddenly thinking about strawberries? The idea of broccoli w/ lemon sound amazing? Then you NEED that. So go get it.
  10. Citrus - I put lemon on everything. Citrus helps your stomach break down the food you’ve eaten faster (enzymes and whatnots). Although, I don’t do this on purpose - I CRAVE lemon. So don’t skip on it. Buy in bulk and use it to season chicken, veggies, fish, and your water. It’s also a great way to add flavor without adding salt or fats. 


My day usually goes like this:


  • Breakfast shake - I like the way they taste, they are packed with “good stuff”, and I might even add a scoop of ice cream BECAUSE I CAN.
  • Snack around 10
  • Lunch around 2 <— should be your largest meal of the day
  • Snack around 4
  • Dinner BEFORE 6:30 <— never after 7. They call it “breakfast” because you are breaking your overnight fast. If you have an entire supper sitting in your belly overnight, there was no fasting. Just lots of … grossness sloshing around. Ew.
  • I MIGHT even have a light snack before bed. Sometimes? This is cereal. A full glass of juice. A banana. You get the point.


You are all free to want to hate me now. But I dare you to try living like this. Again, it IS a lifestyle. (One of my bff’s calls me “french” because of how I eat) (She’s right). This won’t work overnight. Those gigantic portions have your stomach stretched, and that takes time to make smaller. Just slowly cut back on how much you eat when you do eat, but remember to eat often to keep your metabolism up.

Oh! And let me know if it works!

Editor’s Note: I’m not a health nut. I’m normal. I hate working out. It blows. I also love sweats. And white chocolate covered pretzels, brownies and skittles sometimes rule my world. I’m have cellulite and no boobs. Life’s like that. 

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