Yule Shoot Your Face Off

On B-metro, some CLASSIC Hush, Amanda:

3 things children teach you about Christmas - the good and the bad

1) My degree is technically in ‘How To Make People Buy Your Shit’ or better yet ‘How To Make People Think They CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT This Amazing Product’. You’d think Christmas, well, Hallothankmas time, would be one that I’d spend hours geeking out over layouts, product placement, commercials and ad strategy.

You’d be so wrong I’d want to replace your birth control with Craisins.

Having children means Christmas, that magical place in the sparkly part of your brain, turns into the same consistency of brown gravy. They want, they want, they want, they beg, they want, and this is all at a rate one million times more greedy than in “your day”. They now memorize the companies that make the toys. Conner can even remind you that it’s buy one, get one half off day.

Read 2 and 3 after the jump.