Old Life Busy

Last week, I ran from place to place - mostly child-care related. Both boys needed to see their pediatrician, prescriptions needed filling and Christmas pageants required attending. I also managed to fax a thousand copies of a thousand forms in efforts to have my car re-financed and put in my name. I went to the bank 3 times for various reasons.

I grocery shopped, and picked up a check, and had Conner’s haircut. I put up the Christmas tree (sans lights for now), gathered miscellaneous clothing items from both respective parent’s abodes. I unpacked from Disney/Visitation/etc.

In other words - I was busy.

But each day, as I finally walked in the door, one feeling was blazingly overwhelming. I was happy.

This was the routine I was used to - before the divorce.

I took care of the kids, I did errands, I attended Christmas functions and toured new school opportunities (post to come - because I REALLY am going to do follow-ups now!) (Christmas for everyone!!). This was the life I knew.

Nowadays, no day is ever the same and I still have to juggle in all of those pesky things like “figure out how to take care of the kids without skipping work”. Being here, in Montgomery, makes that task infinity times more difficult. Because in all honesty - I can’t do both.

I can’t have a full-time job and children without full-time childcare. It’s ACTUALLY impossible.

So those 2 days, while Chase ran a fever and Conner finished up his steroid (and his cough), I took a vacation of sorts into my old life. I felt complete, happy, productive. That’s how I measure my productivity, apparently, or at least… it’s the only way I know how to (for now). 

I know this will change. Eventually, I can measure my life via other accomplishments, and perhaps this new routine will become MY routine - the one I find comfort in doing. For now, I think I’m allowed a mourning period. A time to wish my life was all about taking care of these two boys. Don’t be mistaken, my life still is about them, now I just have to squeeze in a few paychecks.