What To Say To A Divorcing Friend

Those are my initials on legal documents. Actually, those are my initials that accompanied 27 others just like it and about 6 signatures on a final divorce decree.

Finally, after 3 months of some absolute nut case insanity, my now ex-husband and I were able to reach a settlement and avoid court.

That statement, in itself, is a life win.

A few people I’ve run into don’t know how to take the words “Oh, I’m getting a divorce”. There is no commonly practiced social response ready and available for them. Maybe they are a child of divorce, maybe they’ve done it themselves and perhaps they have zero experience with it all-together (unlikely, but ok) - it doesn’t matter though as people just don’t know what to say.

“Ohh… umm… I’m so sorry” as they lower their voice.

“It’s really ok” I reply.

Except for the few people that knew exactly what to say.

“Congratulations!”

That’s more like it - “congratulations”. It’s the end of something 2 people tried to force into death. We pulled the plug on it a long time ago and it took several months full of last gasps before it stopped pulsing.

“It was the best thing that ever happened to me!” is a common follow-up.

I wouldn’t agree with this, the process is too grueling, too touchy, too involved and bitter to be “the best thing”. However, what happens after that could very well be it. I believe that this is the closest thing I’ll ever get to a new beginning (other than salvation).

I’m sure there are many people who would not accept a congratulatory remark regarding their divorce. I get it - it’s sad. But for me? Right now? I’ll take it.

Congratulations to me.